Sunday, August 24, 2008

CLASSIC DEFINITIONS & COOL MEANINGS



COMPUTER ENGINEER:

ONE WHO GETS PAID FOR READING MAILS.


2. FATHER:
A BANKER PROVIDED BY NATURE.

CRIMINAL:

A GUY NO DIFFERENT FROM THE REST.... EXCEPT THAT HE GOT CAUGHT.


BOSS:
SOME ONE WHO IS EARLY WHEN YOU ARE LATE OR LATE WHEN YOU ARE EARLY.

POLITICIAN:

ONE WHO SHAKES YOUR HAND BEFORE ELECTION AND YOUR CONFIDENCE LATER.

CIGARETTE:

A PINCH OF TOBACCO ROLLED IN PAPER WITH FIRE AT ONE END AND A FOOL AT THE OTHER.


LECTURE:
AN ACT OF TRANSFERRING INFORMATION FROM THE NOTES OF THE LECTURER TO THE NOTES OF STUDENT WITHOUT PASSING THROUGH THE MINDS OF EITHER.


CONFERENCE:

THE CONFUSION OF ONE MAN MULTIPLIED BY THE NUMBER PRESENT.
 

COMPROMISE:
THE ACT OF DIVIDING A CAKE IN SUCH A WAY THAT EVERYBODY BELIEVES  HE HAS GOT THE BIGGEST PIECE.
ECSTASY:
A FEELING WHEN YOU FEEL YOU ARE GOING TO FEEL A FEELING YOU HAVE NEVER FELT BEFORE.

CLASSIC:
A BOOK WHICH PEOPLE PRAISE, BUT DO NOT READ.

SMILE:
A CURVE THAT CAN SET A LOT OF THINGS STRAIGHT.


OFFICE:
A PLACE WHERE YOU RELAX AFTER YOUR STRENUOUS  HOME LIFE.


YAWN:
THE ONLY TIME SOME MARRIED MEN EVER GET TO OPEN THEIR MOUTHS. 


ETC.,:
A SIGN TO MAKE OTHERS BELIEVE THAT YOU KNOW MORE THANYOU ACTUALLY DO.


EXPERIENCE:
THE NAME WITH WHICH MEN JUSTIFY THEIR COLLECTION OF MISTAKES.


ATOM BOMB:
AN INVENTION TO END ALL INVENTIONS.


OPPORTUNIST:
A PERSON WHO STARTS TAKING BATH IF HE ACCIDENTLY FALLS IN TO A RIVER.


OPTIMIST:
A PERSON WHO WHILE FALLING EIFFEL TOWER SAYS IN MIDWAY "SEE IAM NOT INJURED".


PESSIMIST:
A PESSIMIST IS ONE COMPLAINS OF THE NOISE WHEN OPPORTUNITY KNOCKS.


MISER:
A PERSON WHO LIVES POOR SO THAT HE CAN DIE RICH.

DOCTOR:
A PERSON WHO KILLS YOUR ILLS WITH PILLS AND KILLS YOU WITH HIS BILLS.

LAZINESS:

IT'S A TALENT OF TAKING REST BEFORE YOU GET TIRED.


SEMINAR:

IT'S A PROCESS IN WHICH ONE PERSON SPOILS HIS SLEEP FOR DAYS IN AN EFFORT TO MAKE OTHERS FALL ASLEEP FOR SOMETIME...!

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